However, getting to the end of any challenge can be more difficult than one might think. Of course, there are those “What Was I Thinking?” moments when I just can’t imagine HOW I’m going to keep up. Think of “keeping up” as any way that one might want to meet standards: time, effort, ability, competition… you get it. It gets hard.
Then, sometimes, something works. Really works. And you give it your best. But, in the back of your mind, you’re thinking that it will not be worthy in some way. It’s doesn’t fit. It looks horrid. Surely the recepient will not know what to do with your block. All those negative thoughts that an artist thinks at some point. Because, well, we’re human and all have our misconceptions.
Nonetheless, to be an artist with all manner of mental health issues. Now that’s another story. Completely. Bipolar disorder is not for the faint of heart. Trust me.
However, giving in to all those negatives. Just not trying because it’s too hard to accept what might (but probably won’t) be. All the what ifs. (And there are so many what ifs.) Nope, I do not recommend a touch (even a slight one) of bipolar crazy.
It’s hard to hide. Even harder to treat. Especially hard to accept, work, fight, wade through. Living life this way, even with the really good meds, can be exhausting.
But, in the end, it’s always worth the effort. Living life (just living life) is worth the effort, but when good friends tell you, over and again, all those things you need to hear. The things that you never hear enough. The things you don’t tell yourself enough. Those things. Those words. When someone says those words and you believe that person, life is more than worth it all.
All the chances you take. All the nerves you shake off. All the fears and tears that you struggle through. All of it. The road blocks, the mental blocks, the writers’ blocks. The many blocks that everyone struggles with. So many blocks that “normal” people can’t even imagine. We “not normal” people who have mental health challenges blocking our paths, we wade through a quagmire of all those and, to be sure, multiply them in our own heads. Because, you know, why not? Our brains are wired that way. Or the chemicals are quirky. Or it’s what we’ve always done. Or we just don’t know another way. Or who knows what all of the issues are. If we’re lucky, we survive. If we’re really lucky and people love us despite ourselves, we live GOOD lives. And thank God for the oh-so-many blessings.
As for the round robin, it went beautifully. I made blocks for six people, though 12 people were in the group. Unfortunately, I did not get photos of all the blocks. I hope these give you an idea of how awesomely talented the BRMQG group is.